Witchdoctors
I say!
Here's a joke I heard the other day in Sir Harry's.
An aging fellow is having a few problems with his performance in the bedroom department, so he visits a witchdoctor who is known to be an expert in such matters.
The witchdoctor quickly understands what the problem is, and makes up a potion for his new patient. However, he warns the patient that it will only work once a year. Fair enough, the patient agrees.
The witchdoctor explains that what the patient must do is drink the potion, then say "123", and he will be able to perform for as long as he wishes.
"What happens when its all over?" the patient enquires.
The witchdoctor says "All you, or your partner has to say is "1234" and then things will go back to normal. But remember, it will then not work for another year."
So, the fellow goes home, and can hardly wait for the evening to arrive. When its time to go to bed, he and his wife go to the bedroom and get undressed, he drinks the potion, says "123" and as predicted, the potion starts to work.
His wife looks at him and says "What did you say "123" for?"
Haw haw!
I once went to see a witchdoctor. I hasten to add it was not for the same reason as the fellow in the story! In fact, the criminals had broken into our house (this was before we installed extra security and employed a watchman) and I thought the witchdoctor might be able to tell us something about how to get our stolen goods back.
The snaps below show the witchdoctor in question, on the 'gourd telephone' to the big witchdoctor in Mocambique, asking for advice. In front of him in the second snap is a handle from one of the stolen goods, and another gourd with some magic potion in it. Not shown is some earth I had collected, that the criminals had trodden on.
Here's a joke I heard the other day in Sir Harry's.
An aging fellow is having a few problems with his performance in the bedroom department, so he visits a witchdoctor who is known to be an expert in such matters.
The witchdoctor quickly understands what the problem is, and makes up a potion for his new patient. However, he warns the patient that it will only work once a year. Fair enough, the patient agrees.
The witchdoctor explains that what the patient must do is drink the potion, then say "123", and he will be able to perform for as long as he wishes.
"What happens when its all over?" the patient enquires.
The witchdoctor says "All you, or your partner has to say is "1234" and then things will go back to normal. But remember, it will then not work for another year."
So, the fellow goes home, and can hardly wait for the evening to arrive. When its time to go to bed, he and his wife go to the bedroom and get undressed, he drinks the potion, says "123" and as predicted, the potion starts to work.
His wife looks at him and says "What did you say "123" for?"
Haw haw!
I once went to see a witchdoctor. I hasten to add it was not for the same reason as the fellow in the story! In fact, the criminals had broken into our house (this was before we installed extra security and employed a watchman) and I thought the witchdoctor might be able to tell us something about how to get our stolen goods back.
The snaps below show the witchdoctor in question, on the 'gourd telephone' to the big witchdoctor in Mocambique, asking for advice. In front of him in the second snap is a handle from one of the stolen goods, and another gourd with some magic potion in it. Not shown is some earth I had collected, that the criminals had trodden on.
After he'd spoken to the big witchdoctor in Mocambique, he announced that our goods were 'on the move' and 'not too far' from where we were.
Well, to cut a long story short, I did, soon after, recover a small part of what had been stolen - I won't say how, but it was on the move and not far from the house. This eventually led to the arrest of one of the suspected criminals, who was put in jail pending a trial.
Unfortunately, however, the police forgot to lock the door of the cell that night, the suspect walked out and has not been seen again. Most of the other things stolen have not been recovered either.
MM III
posted by zomba at 10:25 AM
5 Comments:
Mingin! Were these boys taking the michael or not? If you'd understood imperialism, what you do it crucify the first two you find, and if the goods don't show up, crucify another two, and so on. That way everyone pays their taxes and the people are happy. What a disgrace to the raj you are! Dearie me! It's the white man's burden. Get out the big shambocky thing! Hotboy
Mingin! I had another look at the photie in the previous post, the last one. It is superb! Give me a print and I'll stick it on my wall. Honest, a great photie! Hotboy
I say Hotboy!
One should never underestimate the power of the witchdoctors, hereabouts.
With respect to the photograph of Mrs M and the washing-line - I see there is some fluff on it, so I shall re-scan it, and send youa print.
MM III
Loved the joke! That is really interesting about the witchdoctor. I didn't think there really was such a thing!
Mingin! Did the witchdoctor ever do juju to hurt people. Could you go to get someone cursed? Hotboy
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