Eats, shoots and leaves

I say!

Well, it would have given me a frightfully clever blog entry title if Prince the hunter had eaten, shot the leopard and left. He certainly ate a lot, for someone with a slight build, and he has now left Kalimbuka to return to Blantyre. However, he did not shoot the leopard.

As there has been no sighting for three nights, and as the only spoor seems to indicate that the beast has returnd to the plateau, he decided to call it quits.

Prince said that the slight amount of mvula we've experienced recently may have persuaded the leopard to return to its previous territory. If it returns, and if there are any more sightings, I've to give him a call.













This is what the bush is like at the bottom of the garden here at Kalimbuka, over the boundary rope, so to speak, down at long on. The object in the foreground is a stand-pipe. Anything hit beyond it is a four or a six. Its much more dry just now than in this particular photograph, which was taken some time ago.

Now there is less fear of the leopard, we have retrieved the two missing balls.

MM III

Another quiet night

Nothing at all last night, apart from a little mvula (rain) which was not heavy enough to disturb us (when it rains heavily, the noise on the roof is enough to raise the dead).

MM III

No news is good news

Absolutely nothing to report from last night. No sightings, no rumpus, no leopard.

MM III

Sighting!

Well My Goodness,

Prince had the leopard in his sights last night. He said he was almost about to fire when the dogs caught the scent and made a noise, at which point the leopard scarpered.

Doviko was down in the village this afternoon, and said that they too had a visitation last night, but scared the beast off with their pangas.

I must say, this is getting rather worrying.

Slight rain before sundown! Some pula at last. Pula is actually the word used in Botswana for rain. Down there rain is so valuable that their currency is called Pula. Here they would call what we had today 'the drizzles'. I hear that its been so dry down there that the Gabs dam is almost dry!

Better go and top up Mrs Milngavie.

MM III

Good sleep

What an excellent night's sleep we had last night, in the knowledge that we were guarded by not only Abdul and the dogs, but also an armed hunter!

There was no sighting.

I am impressed with Prince. He took me a little way into the bush where he'd found quite clear spoor of an adult leopard. He believes that she has decended from the plateau either because of the dryness making it difficult to hunt, or because of an over-amorous male. He also showed me marks which he said were made by a young leopard, but I could not discern them myself.

We lost two balls today. I hit two excellent sixes off Doviko's round-the-wicket. The second was a straight drive that Freddie Flintoff would have been proud of. It sailed far into the distance, but no one was prepared to look for it in the bush, in case the leopard was around.

I discussed the shooting of the animal with Prince. He is adamant that capture is not an option, and shrugged his shoulders when I mentioned the cub.

At Sir Harry's this lunchtime opinion was divided. The old hands all agreed that a kill was necessary. Those who had not been hereabouts for so long, including a couple of Peace Corps volunteers over from Chiradzulu, were keen to explore capture options.

Cabbage has offered to make a cage out of bamboo for the cub, in the case that it is captured, though what we would do with it is another question.

MM III

Prince, the hunter

Well, I say!

The Department of Parks and Wildlife responded with impressive speed. They have sent a young chap called Prince to help us out with our leopard. Spent a delightful afternoon chatting to him about the old times. The only problem is that he has been sent to shoot the leopard.









I took this photograph of Prince outside the back door.

Shooting the leopard is not what I was expecting. Though I 'bagged' many prime examples of the Big Five in my hayday, I thankfully put all that behind me some time ago.

I rather expected that the Department would capture the creature, and release it in Lengwe or Kasungu, but it appears that this is unfortunately not possible. Not enough resources - in fact, Prince caught the bus here from Blantyre. They are in any case not keen on having leopards in Lengwe, and according to Prince, there are plenty of leopards in any case!

Apparently, the leopard - and I assume it was the mother, rather than the one we saw yesterday - took a goat in a nearby village the other day, and the Department sees its demise as an exercise in public relations.

Whatever. Prince is charming, and seems to know his business, so I'll leave it up to him. He has based himself in our garden, and I've asked Doviko to provide food for him. Abdul has been given strict orders to keep the dogs under control and on ropes.

MM III

Leopard in the garden!!

Well, what a to do!

Eveything was pretty quiet last night until first light, when there was a loud knock on the front door. It was Abdul and Doviko, with the news that there was a 'lion' in the garden. Abdul had, thankfully, tied the dogs up by the stove, and they were quiet.

I put on my dressing gown and followed them down to the bottom of the garden. And there, halfway up a tree and looking very scared, was a young leopard! I'd estimate a few months old, and actually it did look slightly like a very small lion.

We did not get too close, because I suddenly thought - what if the mother is also around?

By the time I'd collected my thoughts, something to defend myself with, and a camera, it had gone.

Well - I ask you - we cannot have wild leopards in the garden! I reckon it must have somehow found its way down from the plateau. It was too young to have been alone, so all of this must be reported to the Department of Parks and Wildlife, so that they can come and catch it, and release it safely well away from Kalimbuka.

There have been requests for photographs on this blog, and I have had a word with the 'office' who say that occasional photographs would be in order, as long as they do not reveal locations and such like, and as long nothing current is shown of my good self.

Here, therefore, is a picture I took of Cabbage last year, when the grass was long, at his 'slashing'.




MM III

Quiet night

Well, nothing at all last night, which was very quiet. No sign at all of the 'lion'.

MM III

Something in the garden

Well, I say!

An early night, last night, and everything was very peaceful until about 4am when the dogs wen't berserk.

When I arose, Abdul was waiting for me, and Doviko also. Abdul's English is not very good, and Doviko explained that Abdul believed he had seen a lion closeby before first dawn. This is clearly not possible, the nearaest lions probably being at Kasungu National Park, and I at first put it down to the fact that they must have seen me reading Pat Cavendish O'Neill's book, with a picture of a lion on its cover, but Abdul was clearly shaken, and both Casper and Farley were looking rather sheepish as well.

I showed Abdul pictures of various predators, but this didn't help as he nodded at most of them, and much was obviously lost in translation.

Couldn't find much in the way of spoor, and certainly nothing like this.

Its more likely he saw a baboon or possibly a hyena, which is, nonetheless, rather worrying. I told him that tonight he must keep the dogs on rope, and gave him permission to have a fire all night.

I'll keep alert myself.

MM III

Last night

Well - I don't know what the kerfuffle was all about last night. The dogs were barking for hours. Abdul said he didn't see anything.

Everyone is a litle tired today.

MM III

Cape Red, Nelson, UFOs and other ephemera

Well, I must admit that I am very much enjoying the Cape Red, a box of which Mrs Milngavie recently acquired.

This evening we are celebrating Lord Nelson. A very distant relative, albeit from the wrong side of the sheets, so to speak.

On the khondi a few minutes ago, I could have sworn I heard the distant cough of a leopard. As a hunter, one's ear gets trained to such sounds, of course, and in the not too hazy past I had a minor run-in with one over in the Luangwa Valley, but I can't imagine there are any heareabouts.

Talking about wildlife, I must just quote from Pat Cavendish O'Neill's excellent and recently published autobiography "A lion in the bedroom" :

"The duke sat around reminiscing, saying, "When I was monarch..." while everyone knew the duchess was having it off with Jimmy in one of the upstairs guest rooms. Mummy told me that the duchess was famous for her expertise in fellatio: rumour had it that she had lessons in China on this particular art. She was a very masculine woman; there was nothing soft or feminine about her, and I personally did not think she was good looking. She had a presence. I suppose that was the best one could say about her."

Well, I say! A tad catty, don't you think?

I must say that much of Pat's book is most enjoyable. What a memory she has, and its nice to catch up with some of the old Happy Valley crowd.

Of more local interest - Cabbage, who it must be remembered has had little or no education - is very concerned about the recent UFO sighting in Mangochi. He seems to think there is some connection between it and the disappearance of his cousin, and he has actually said he wants to go to see Bernie Owen and reclaim the remains.

Sorry, I must dash - Casper and Farley are making a terrible rumpus about something or other.

MM III

Unidentified object

My, my!

Firstly, I thought I would quote a delightful paragraph from something written by Alexandra Fuller, which was quoted in a recent Smonday:

"The sun swelled to a hundred times its normal size and ate everything on the horizon"

This is a wonderful image. Not really appropriate for this time of the year hereabouts, when the air is very dusty, but come the rains, the air will clear and I will enjoy a sundowner out the back, whilst I watch this sort of thing happen.

I heard a peculiar tale in Sir Harry's the other day from Bernie. Bernie is a geologist, and last weekend the police called at his house and requested that he accompany them to Mangochi. Already in the car was someone from the Bvumbwe Agricultural Research Station who's name I forget, and on the way, they picked up Dr Mohammed from Domasi.

The police were taking the whole business very seriously, and they specifically wanted a geologist, an agriculturalist and a doctor. The purpose - to examine 'something which had fallen from the sky' about half a mile from the turn-off at Mangochi!

Well - I ask you! Bernie said there was a big crowd at the scene, which was being guarded by several more police. The army was on hand as well.

What was it, then? I asked Bernie.

It turns out is was a meteorite weighing about 20 lbs. Bernie is quite excited about examining it when it has been released from custody.

MM III

Back from the Lake

I say!

Those last few days at the Anglican Cottage were wonderful!

Here is someone else's photograph of a typical Lake Malawi view, so that you can appreciate what we see when we raise our sundowner glasses.

Unfortunately, for security reasons, I am at present unable to post my own photographs, and I obviously cannot risk my supplement, but I have been making enquiries at 'the office' and hopefully this situation may change.

I must say, it is very dry up north, away from the Lake, and there have been more than a few bush fires.

We had a wonderful luncheon on Tuesday at the Club Mak. I must say, they certainly put on an impressive buffet. Recommend it, if you're in the area.

A curious incident late Wednesday night. I don't know whether it was an excess of MGTs or what, but I could have sworn there was a minor tremor. Ice doesn't usually shake around like that in one's glass. The Lake is on the Rift, after all, so they are quite frequent. Local rumour has it that a giant snake causes them.

Cabbage caused quite a bit of hilarity with his attempts at learning to swim. Quite determined, he was, and I gave him all the advice I could. He kept asking me how further up the Lake from Karonga was Edinburgh. He helped replenish firewood for the Anglican stove.

The windsurfing was absolutely excellent, apart from Thursday morning when there was rather too much swell for me. The local hippo was, fortunately, nowhere to be seen.

Brought back a supply of chambo, some charcoal, a new floormat, some cassava for the staff and some wonderful carvings which I'm sure originated from Mua.

MM III

The Lake

We're off to the Lake for a few days. Have booked the Anglican, and we're looking forwards to some time away from the daily bustle of Kalimbuka. Should be back in time for the Super Test, though.

Cabbage is coming as well, and there's room in the bakkie for him, I suppose, if he doesn't mind sitting on the windsurfer. For some reason he has suddenly taken an interest in learning to swim.

See you shortly

MM III

Ogden's helmet

The very old motocycle helmet I bought from Ogden before he left is proving to be extremely useful. Abdul (nightwatchman) keeps it by his side, and put it on if he thinks he hears the criminals nearby, and Cabbage has taken to wearing it whist fielding at short leg.

Seems to slow him down a tad, though.

MM III

What dreadful tales

I say! What frightful things one's hears sometimes.

In Sir Harry's Bar this lunchtime, someone who had been in Blantyre recently told about being accosted by some youths who wanted to 'guard his car'. He said they looked particularly wild and were sniffing something out of polythene bags. "Glue?" I asked. No, he said, it was 'jenkem'.

This, he explained, is fermented human sewage which is kept in a plastic bag for a week until it gives off intoxicating fumes. Well, I ask you!

Don't try that at home, boys and girls.

MM III

I'm not a racist...but

I say - If anyone ever says to me again "I'm not a racist...but..." and then proceeds to demonstrate just how awful a racist they are, like this 'old Rhodie', as he called himself, did today up at Sir Harry's Bar at lunchtime, I shall give them a bloody nose, so I will. And I won't care if they are ex-Selous or not.

There should be no place for racism in the new Africa.

MM III